(NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT. ANYTHING THAT MAY SEEM SIMILAR IS PURELY A FICTICIOUS NAME IN A FICTICIOUS ROOM.)
Once upon a time... in a land called BUCKerooooville, lived a very insecure and dissillusioned KING. Underneath the sweaty brow, the skintight jumpsuit with sparklies, dwelled a KING, a MIGHTY KING!! A KING no one DARED question... for he knew ALL.
Yes, the KING had had his fill of opposing viewpoints for the day, and he was ready to relax, enjoy his kingdom and bobbleheads that surrounded him with appeasing tones of glee. Yes, the KING stretched out on his throne as he surveyed with lazy eyes that resembled slits, like a snake surveying his prey... this shall indeed be a good day... he thought.
Out of the distance the KING heard a thundering sound!! WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS HEADED HIS WAY???!!!... The clatter came closer... and closer... until finally his ears felt as if they were about to burst!!!... then as sudden as a lightbeam shooting through a raincloud, a dewdrop encompassing a soft, fresh petal... the KING saw a figure... far out on the hazy morning horizon.. gallopping closer to the kingdom with purpose and force. The KING trembled in fright!! It was HER!! SHE!! It was IsaOfArk!! Stampeeding her way to HIS kingdom!!
(the king knew this wasn't gonna be pretty)
The KING alerted his guards!! JIMBOY!! USCONCEITED!! MYGODMEMOTHER!! LarryTheJust!!!
COME HITHER COME HITHER the KING screamed in a soft criminal whisper!! She's here!!!
WATCH HER!! I BEG YOU!! KEEP AN EYE ON EVERYTHING SHE SPEWS FORTH!!! She will try to reason with us!! GUIDE US!! TALK SENSE TO US!! I FORBID IT I TELL YOU!! I FORBADE IT BEFORE AND I SHALL KEEP FORBADING HER NO MATTER WHAT SENSE SHE UTTERS!!
In the distance a figure is seen more clearly, coming closer you can make out the long, shiny, healthy & luxurious whisps of beautiful glistening locks, trailing behind a silken red cloak that shone with chocolate diamiamonds(ty green), rubies, emeralds and pearls. On the long shapely legs there were trails of soft, smooth, leathery straps, intertwined up to her knees, to protect her delicate feet of justice.
As the figure rode furiously closer still, the soft morning light shone on the huge dark green emerald eyes that encompassed her heartshaped face, glowing with contentment, peace, and love for her fellow humankind... love for all peoples in all lands everywhere... except for the gnarly KING. (she squints in disgust)
IsaOfArk had been told of the oppressive KING and was determined to release the kingdom of caffeine and sugar of this TYRANT!! It would take SHE, and SHE ALONE to unchain her southern new jersey italian stallion SO HE COULD ROAM FREE TO EXPRESS HIS POLITICAL VIEWS without the KING there to restrain him. And she would do it... she had decided, .. it was a done deed.
Riding on with determination and purpose, IsaOfArk slows her mount at the kingdoms doors... In she canters, smiling at all the good people of Grunto Castle, tossing vietnamese whisker bisquits to those that craved them, and tarts to others who were worthy.
Dismounting her steed, IsaOfArk wraps the reins around what she perceived as MYGODMEMOTHERS' moonshine still, continues past the babbling JIMBOY as he tries to sell flowers at the castlegate to pay for his flood insurance, and further still she walks on to the caffeine room of the GRUNTO castle. Once inside, IsaOfArk hears the voice of her beloved Waiting_for_the_ republicans_to_fold.
Ahhhh, IsaOfArk devours the scent of sweet election victory and flashes a dazzling smile to the new jersey stallion she so adores. The response was a grin and a glimmer of glee at the obvious success her stallion had acheived in her absence. Yes, it was true, for she could hear the grunts and growls all around her as disgruntled republicans sat in discontent and dissarray, chomping on huge pieces of humble and crow pie. Eat my darlings, eat your fill, you had this meal coming for a long eight years IsaOfArk sang in her head.
As IsaOfArk sat gracefully down at a seat in the corner where she could study the angry crowd in amusement, she let slip a giggle... a soft, inward giggle....
AT ONCE the angry crowd stood up from their seats of dismay, slamming their chairs to the wall in indignation!! THE NERVE!! THE AUDACITY!! THE BLATANT BOLDNESS OF THIS BEAUTIFUL UPSTART!! HOW DARE SHE ENTER OUR SANCTUARY OF SIMPLETONS!!
AND THEN ACT SO SUPERIOR OF MIND AND BODY!! GET HER GET HER !!! OFF WITH THE SHREWS HEAD!!!
IsaOfArk acted quickly, she pulled her sword of righteousness from it's sheath and held it glistening and menacingly toward her aggressors. It mattered not that they were simple, or that they all only had one tooth!! NO!! IsaOfArk knew that a decision had to be made, and be made it would!!
IsaOfArk jumped across the bucket of JIMBOYS' flowers, ran swiftly towards the caffeine room's door and shouted; I'LL BE BACKKKKKKKKKKKKK !!
off she flew, through the doors and down the castle stairs at lightening speed!! She stealthily snuck into the GRUNTO CASTLE CODE ROOM to retreive a number that would stop this malee of evildoers that tried to oppress her and her new jersey itallian stallion's political perspectives...
There they were.. the numbers to her freedom...
ahhhhh... carefully IsaOfArk took each number into her soft hands, turned each number over one by one, marveling at their magnificance...
It was time...
Back up the stairs she flew, anticipating her reward at the entrance of the caffeine room.... only to find the KING.. angry and distraught, dissheveled and sweating, snorting through his bloated snout ISA IS EVIL!!!! I SHALL SILENCE HER FOREVER!! He turned to his crowd of bobbleheads (who at this point were devouring vietnamese whisker bisquits) and screamed!! THIS IS MY KINGDOM!! AND IN THIS KINGDOM NO ONE SHALL THINK OUTSIDE OF MY BLUE SUEDE SHOES !! DO YA HEAR ME?? DO YA HEAR ME YA SNEAKY ANTIAMERICAN BAWSTARDS????!
Being slick as a ribbon, and twice as pretty, IsaOfArk placed the magical numbers in the lock of the caffeine room... slowly opened the door... and entered...
ALAS!! SHE HAS THE MAGIC NUMBERS !! OH WOE IS ME!! WOE IS MEEEEE!!! The KING wailed to his followers, who at this point had wiped their mouths with napkins and had already grabbed MYGODMEMOTHERS' guns in the umbrella stand. They aimed.. they shot... and they struck poor innocent IsaOfArk in the shoulder...
An unknown secret assailant whisked her up in his arms and carried her to safety until the following morning...
Yes... vengence shall have to wait... until mornings light...
Isa lies her head softly on the shoulder of her secret assailant, and smiles knowingly up into his soft eyes... it will wait... till morning... then... we shall take the castle with force...
to be cont.
